I gave my life to Jesus Christ as a college student at Auburn University. I was 20 years old and in a deep, dark pit as result of life choices and messy relationships. From that point on, I fell in love with God’s word. For the first time in my life, I knew that I was really loved and saw that there was hope for me. Now, I was raised in church and even went to a Christian school for several years, yet I was as lost as they come! My heart had never been changed. The point of this bit of my story, is that for the first time in my life I read and memorized scripture and God would speak to me. The very first scripture I memorized as that 20 year old student, was Psalm 27:14. It has become my life verse! And I had no idea how it would be so applicable in my life to come…..
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. (Psalm 27:14 NIV)
But don’t we all find ourselves waiting, for something. Looking back I had no idea how God would use this scripture to teach me….and how it would become the verse of my life. I’m not good at waiting! But I am learning, slowly. And one thing I do know, that God is good to those who wait on Him.
I get antsy when I am waiting…..nervous energy, edgy, maybe even a little touchy and even, frustrated. It’s then I have to step back and realize my heart is not resting in the peace of God. If I am not resting in God, then there is problem in my heart and I need to go ahead and deal with it. What is causing my unrest…..
Sin. It’s always sin….
That’s not a fun word, nor do people like to talk about it, but as I wait on The Lord….and learn from Him, He’s always bringing me back to looking honestly at who I am. That’s not always fun. Seeing ourselves as we really are….honestly, it’s quite discouraging.
There’s nothing like waiting that will expose the dark areas of our heart. The idols we serve are brought to the surface. Control, fear, anxiety, unbelief, self-reliance, the facade of perfection, anger, bitterness, love of comfort and safety……all the tucked away insecurities. The false hopes that we build our lives on are revealed and proven to be insufficient.
But if we freely admit our sins when His light uncovers them, He will be faithful to forgive them every time…because of Christ…(John 1:9 TPT)
Waiting can reveal the cracks in my armor; my lack of faith and desire to control like nothing else! But if we freely admit our sins when His light uncovers them, He will be faithful to forgive them EVERY TIME! See, we don’t have to be a slave to sin. We don’t have to live in bondage of anxiety and fear. We don’t have to hide in our weakness and fear that we will be rejected and not accepted. We don’t have to put on appearances for the sake of reputation. We only have to come and lay down our pride that so easily hinders us from being honest…..and confess our sin, our need…..and He will forgive, restore and redeem. He sets us free! He gives us rest.
How blessed and relieved are those who have confessed their corruption to God! For He wipes their slates clean and removes hypocrisy from their hearts. Before I confessed my sins, I kept it all inside; my dishonesty devastated my inner life…..Then I finally admitted to you all my sins, refusing to hide them any longer…..and You forgave me! This is what I’ve learned through it all: All believers should confess their sins to God; do it every time God has uncovered you in the time of exposing. For if you do this, when sudden storms of life over whelm, you’ll be kept safe. (Psalm 32:2-6 TPT)
So, then, we can rest as we wait. The storm can continue to blow around us. Our circumstances might not improve suddenly, but there is peace when our hearts are confident in the provision of Jesus. Our eyes are focused on the sovereign Lord above, and our minds are steadfast on the promises of God. Now going back to my life verse…Psalm 27:14…through the events of the past few years, I have come to adopt verse 13, as well, as my part of my life verse. In closing I want to share the Passion version with you…and I would love to hear about your life verse, and what God is teaching you about waiting.
Yet I totally trust you to rescue me one more time, so I can see once again how good you are while I’m still alive! Here’s what I’ve learned though it all: Don’t give up; don’t be impatient; be entwined as one with the Lord. Be brave and courageous, and never lose hope. Yes, keep on waiting – for he will never disappoint you! Psalm 27: 13-14 TPT
Monica and Chuck