Oswald Chambers wrote, “God is not concerned about our plans; He doesn’t ask, ‘Do you want to go through this loss……, this difficulty, or this defeat?’ No. He allows these things for His own purpose. The things we are going through are either making us sweeter, better, and nobler men and women, or they are making us more critical and fault-finding, and more insistent on our own way. The things that happen either make us evil, or they make us saintly, depending entirely on our relationship with God and its level of intimacy.”

I’ve read those words over and over again, year after year, for over 25 years. And still, they sting and convict. They challenge me to examine my life, my heart and my mind. They cause me to pause and ask if I am becoming what He has intended as I walk through the fires of life. What kind of fruit is being produced from the sorrows He has allowed.

Our hearts are so deceptive and we can get off course so easily. Troubles come so we get weary and start to believe the lies about who we are and who God is. Before we know it, fear and doubt have taken root in our hearts. But they must not remain!

The Lord has given you trouble and sorrow as your food and drink. But now you will again see the Lord, your teacher, and he will guide you.  Whether you turn to the right or to the left, you will hear a voice saying, “This is the road! Now follow it.” Isaiah 30: 20-21

Rest. Stop striving. Release. Sometimes we need to pause and remember that God is still on the throne. He is sovereign even in the chaos of our world. He is able to do what we cannot do. Be still and wait on the Lord.

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Our Lord, you keep your word and do everything you say. When someone stumbles or falls, you give a helping hand. Everyone depends on you, and when the time is right, you provide them with food. By your own hand you satisfy the desires of all who live. Our Lord, everything you do is kind and thoughtful, and you are near to everyone whose prayers are sincere. You satisfy the desires of all your worshipers, and you come to save them when they ask for help. Psalm 145:13-19

“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.” He is Jehovah Jireh. God who provides.

“He restores my soul.” He is Jehovah Rapha. God who heals.

I have clung to those words over the past year. They have become so much more than just verses off the page of my bible. They have become my life.

When the attacks come in the middle of the night and the fears of circumstances swirl in my mind, I have often spoken softly to myself…”The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. He will provide what I need.” And He has. Every. Single. Time. He is faithful to His promise.

The Lord God gives me the right words to encourage the weary . Each morning he awakens me eager to learn his teaching ; he made me willing to listen and not rebel or run away. Isaiah 50:4-5

Over the past year, awaiting each court date and trip across the country, I have continued to wrestle with how to live this trial out faithfully. I have felt so inadequate. How do you minister within your own broken family? How do you become real with each other, stop pretending and hiding your feelings. How do we walk out love in the midst of chaos and heartbreak?

We can find ourselves living a life of performance based faith. We believe that if we do all the right things, we will get the desired results. But if you can always see the results, you are not living by faith. You are living by sight. That is not faith. Even when it looks like we are losing the battle, we must believe that God will do what He says He can and will do for those who love Him and believe Him at His word. We must not waver in unbelief. Even when circumstances are messy and hard, God is good. Trust Him.

But the Lord God keeps me from being disgraced. So I refuse to give up, because I know God will never let me down. Isaiah 50:7

When we feel barely alive and the only things we do feel are fear, hurt, anxiety, failure, and discouragement we have to stop and ask ourselves, where did our fight go? These are feelings. They are not truth. Do not look at circumstances. Do not look to other people. Look only to God for the help you need. Surrender. Let go. Healing will come as He begins to move in your heart and life.

I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.” Jeremiah 31:25

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A wise woman builds her home. I have failed in many ways, but these words are what have brought me back time and time again to truth. A wise woman builds her home.

No matter where you are today…..You can choose to build your home. If you have messed up, get back up…and start today. However small…it matters eternally. God will meet you and help you!

God’s eyes are on those who fear him! On those whose Hope is in His unfailing love. In the dark moments of my life, I have declared that I believed God would deliver us from death and keep us from famine. We continue to wait on God in hope. He is our shield and our help. My heart rejoices in Him. I will trust His name and continue to pray that His unfailing love rest upon my family.

I will praise you, Lord! Even here…when troubles surround, financial issues, child issues, marriage issues, weariness, discouragement…I will choose to praise the Lord.

I will seek His face because He answers me! Jesus, you deliver us from all our fears. I look to you and my face is radiant. My face will not be covered in shame.

Father, you have placed your angel around my family – my marriage – my children – your angel encamps around us and will deliver us. I have tasted and seen that God is good. I am blessed to take refuge in God.

Because I fear you Father, I lack nothing. I keep my tongue from evil and I don’t speak lies. Help me Lord to always seek peace and pursue it. Your eyes are on me. You are attentive to my cry.

Lord you promise to deliver us from all our troubles – you are close to the brokenhearted – you save those crushed in sprit- even though we have troubles in this life – you will always deliver us and protect us.

Jesus redeems our lives. He is redeeming our lives in the fire.


Monica and Chuck


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