2023 Thoughts On Moving Forward

(Friends, this post was written on New Year’s Eve 2023. I am just now sharing it with you, and I believe that NOW (October of 2024) is just the right time for this to be posted….God is writing a story in my heart. I have held back so much of my writing and have not posted anything this year publicly. However, I have continued to write.)

Last year (ending 2022) the phrase in my heart was “Move Forward in Faith.” Over and over, throughout the year, that phrase was my mantra. No longer did I want to stay stuck where I had been – discouraged, weary, full of grief, and disappointed about so much.  Yet, I wasn’t really sure about how to move forward. While visiting our son in Colorado during Christmas last year, I broke my big toe as we were about to fly home. That accidental fall led to 8 weeks of no weight bearing on that leg after surgery. I was stuck on the couch A LOT – so I had some time to think. 

I needed rest. My body, mind, and spirit were all tired. I lacked focus and felt completely distracted. I realized all I knew was to keep going, but God had, by His grace, allowed me to STOP for 8 weeks. It was interesting and I saw God’s provision for me in many ways. It was here that God began to expose some deep needs in my life. 

One need that was recognized was a deep need to show myself grace and allow myself to recover from trauma and grief. These things take time and they use up a lot of energy. You cannot get better if you don’t allow yourself to rest and recover. I had to work through and acknowledge I was NOT okay in so many ways.  

Another area of need in my life was beginning the work on true identity – who does God say I am.  I am only skimming the surface in this post of what God has been doing in my life with identity, there is so much there to tell and another time, I will because this has been HUGE in my life. But during this time last year, God revealed that how I saw myself was not rooted in what was TRUE. For years I had been a wife and mother….and many other things, but in 2023 I went through some major life changes, and my identity was exposed for what it was. LOST. Misplaced. Uncertain. 

I had NO idea how truly lost I was. I know the Scriptures. I know what God says about who I am….I had worked through these Truths and prayed them for myself, my husband, and my children…still, it became apparent, that I did not actually believe what God says or I would be living differently. That’s where the proof comes. Am I actually living like I believe what God says about who I am, who He is, and what He can do? When all that doesn’t line up, the truth of what I believe is revealed. 

As I said, there is A LOT to what God has been teaching me about Identity and how important it is in living out our GOD-GIVEN PURPOSES. I hope one day there is a book that I write that tells about it all….because it’s been that life-changing for me. I really do want to be well ( not emotionally and spiritually SICK) and to do that, I have had a good bit of work to do on learning my TRUE identity in Christ. 

Much of that starts with forgiveness. You cannot get well when your heart is bitter and unforgiving. It all starts with learning to forgive yourself and others. Then God can really start to work in your life. If you cannot seem to make progress in your spiritual life – ask God to show you where you have unforgiveness. Deal with those roots and you will be set free and God can come in and fill you enabling you to live in His power and goodness. 

Now to get to the heart of this post as I wrap up 2023. It’s 11:12 and time is running out, but today as I was baking some sourdough bread I had some thoughts!

I love to bake bread. I don’t do it as much as I would like because it takes time and I work every day. That doesn’t allow me to be in the kitchen whipping up delicious, fresh bread very often. Still, I enjoy the process and it kind of feels like a form of worship to me. But up until a couple of months ago, I had never made sourdough bread. I had no idea about caring for a starter, was afraid that I would kill the starter, and was fearful of what kind of disaster I might create in attempting the sourdough process. I was afraid I couldn’t do it. 

To simplify this story I will tell you that I did give sourdough a try. I texted a friend who baked and she so cheerfully shared her grieving starter with me. Yes, that starter came from a period in her own life – a few years ago that caused great grief and pain for her entire family. She loves sharing that starter with others and was so willing to help me out. I loved having her grieving starter as my own, because I knew her story. I also carried my own grief, and was indeed at that time, walking through my first days as an empty nester. That in itself brings some grief as the season of having kids at home ends. 

The point is that I tried it! I baked sourdough bread. The very bread I had been so afraid to try because I was unsure of myself. 

Now we enjoy this bread most weeks around my house. It has become EASY for me and my family loves it!

But what if I had never tried? What a blessing I would have missed.

What is God speaking to your heart about things He would like for you to step out of your comfort zone and try this next year? Has He laid something on your heart, but you are afraid to move forward and take steps of action. What if you never try? 

But what if you DO try, what blessings are to come as a result of your faith and action? 

I want to dream and believe God for His promises. 

Too much of my life has been lived in scarcity. A lie from the pit of hell. I am not enough. There is not enough. A lie that suffocates our dreams and hopes for what might be…IF…..

The word in my heart this year is ABUNDANCE based on Psalm 66:10-12. This, too, has been a process over several years, but I think finally I am ready to step into that abundance and dare to Hope. 

God has given me dreams and I am full of HOPE and Courage because I know He is with me. He is my source and apart from Him I can do nothing!

What are you holding on to that you need to let go of as you step into 2024? God works miracles in the lives of those who take Him at His word… Go do what He says and don’t be afraid. He is with you.

Monica